Are you a college guy looking to “get the girl?” And by “get the girl” I mean date and hopefully start a relationship with her. (We are keeping it classy.) If so, I’m going to let you in on a few of the DO’s and DON’Ts when it comes to chasing the girl of your dreams. I’m no relationship expert, but I can speak for myself and many other college girls about what is attractive to us, and what is not.
1. Maintain Good Personal Hygiene!!!!!
No girl wants to date a guy smelling like last week’s dirty laundry and BO (body odor). Shower daily, brush your teeth, stay shaved/trimmed, and keep your hair tidy. If you want wear a little cologne, stay away from cheap cologne like Axe or Tag: they are reminiscent of junior high school and do not have very appealing fragrance.
The best way to pick the perfect fragrance for you is to have a girl help you pick out the right cologne. You want to be attractive to the ladies not repellent to them.
2. Compliment her when you see her
It is a subtle way to show your interest and make her feel great! Girls love getting compliments. This is college after all, and some days we don’t give it a lot of effort. But when we try to look good, hearing positive feedback really raises our spirits. Just make sure that your compliment does not come off as creepy. For example, a good compliment would be “You look really nice/beautiful.” However, compliments can be very creepy too if you use the wrong body language or compliment the wrong thing. For instance, if you tell a girl she looks beautiful and proceed to look her up and down THAT IS CREEPY! If you tell a girl she has nice calves, or legs, or other areas for example, because THAT IS CREEPY! There are exceptions to this rule of course (if she points them out or there are other special circumstances).
Most important: make sure your compliments are genuine and you do not overdo them. If you tell a girl she is beautiful and smart 24/7 you come off as either fake or worse: desperate. No girl wants to be with the desperate guy… It is human nature.
3. Text her
Most girls love to talk and when you are not face to face, texting is the next best thing for a time-crunched college student. Calling her on the phone is even better, but it depends if your girl likes talking on the phone or not and if you both have the time for it.
Texting is really sweet but you need to find a balance. If she is constantly the last one to text in the conversation (not counting one word goodbyes) you probably are not texting enough. Eventually she will lose interest or think you are not into her. If you text her all the time you need to pay attention to her response. Texting back and forth is fun but it can soon become extremely annoying when the guy does not know when to lay off.
Many girls find good morning/goodnight texts to be cute, as well as “a how is your day” somewhere in-between. I personally get annoyed. I do not want to spend all day texting. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
If the girl of your dreams is giving you one word answers and/or is only answering your questions but not asking you any. BACK OFF BRO! This is her polite way of saying stop talking to me I am getting annoyed! If you back off and cut back a bit on the texting your chances with her will be a lot better. Again, girls do not want to be with the desperate guy and texting her 24/7 gives her that vibe of desperation.
4. Ask her out
Get to know her a little first and if she appears to be comfortable around you and she is not already taken just go for it. Most girls are willing to give a guy a shot. Most times she will say yes unless you have previously creeped her out or she has her eyes set on someone else. It is important that you take her on a first date that you both can communicate and get to know each other. Coffee, mini-golf, a sporting event, or a picnic are all great options. If it goes well maybe take her to a restaurant next time. A movie date should be saved for a later occasion because you cannot talk during the movie.
5. ALWAYS be a gentleman
Every day women are becoming more independent, but chivalry is certainly not dead. Hold the door for her, knock on her door when you pick her up, help her with her jacket, etc. Do not sit in your car and text “I’m here” when you pick her up- any self- respecting girl will not come out to your car. Also if you asked her out you better pay for the date unless she absolutely insists on paying her portion. It is common courtesy that the asker pays. She will grab her purse when the bill comes, but she is totally waiting for you to say “No I got this.” It makes you much more attractive if you treat her and you are more likely to get a second date if you pay. Just make sure that you do not take chivalry too far too fast especially if she is the independent type. For example, walking her across the street linked arm escort style is a bit much for the first date. The only way to pull this off without seeming creepy or overwhelming a more independent type girl is to do it in a joking manner. Most importantly read her body language, if she seems uncomfortable by your actions or touch stop.
6. Be Honest
You have no future with her if you only tell her lies. Eventually she will find out and everything will come crashing down. You want to get close to her and the only way to do that is to tell the truth and be real with her. Do not pretend to like the same things she does and do not lie about anything to seem more appealing to her. Honesty is the best policy.
Here are a few more tips on things you should avoid doing.
Don’t be talking with several girls at the same time. Nobody wants to be with a player and across the globe trust is the greatest quality that people look for in a partner. Girls find it hard to trust a player. In addition, focus on her and do not check out other girls while you are in her presence.
Don’t be super handsy. Touching her frequently if she is not your girlfriend can make her really uncomfortable. Heck it might make a girlfriend uncomfortable. Generally let her break the touch barrier first. This will be a touch to your arm or something along those lines. For example, touching her knee, elbow, or hand several times in the same day without her responding with similar actions is CREEPY! Also if her hand is on the edge of a table far away from yours do not reach all the way across the table and proceed to stroke her hand! That is the KING of CREEPIENESS! Clearly her hand is close to her which means she is likely a bit reserved at the moment. And to state the obvious do not touch her inappropriately!
Don’t ask to kiss her or hold her hand. That is not romantic. If the moment is right and she is responding positively towards you then make your move. You need to be the man.
Here are a few first date ideas for a D’Youville guy:
Coffee: Spot Coffee on Elmwood, Morning Glory Café
Adventure Landing– mini-golf
Picnic- The Marina, La Salle park, Delaware Park, Front Park, Beaver Island State Park